Douchebags Consider Switching to Land LinesA new medical report showing that excessive cell phone use may increase the risk of cancer has sparked widespread fear among the nation's a**holes, prominent a**holes confirmed today.
"I didn't think twice about using my cell when it was only annoying other people, but now that it may be harming me, I'm going to have to kiss it goodbye," he said. "This totally sucks."
http://borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6883
