Sniglets

A sniglet is a word that should be in the dictionary but isn't. Sniglets are the brainchild of comedian Rich Hall who, with a little help from his friends, wrote a series of books containing sniglets in the mid-eighties. With a little help from Rich Hall and our readers, here are some IT-related sniglets we think should be in the dictionary but aren't:

alpha geek - the most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

analog-retentive - those people who obstinately cling to outmoded technology.

AlzIMers - typing in the wrong IM window when you have more than one conversation going.

animousity - vigorously clicking your pointer device because a page is loading too slowly.

AOL-WOL - disappearing from an IM conversation without notice.

backronym - an IT term whose letters once had no meaning, but have since come to stand for something-or-other.

blamestorming - sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

cellphonic appraisal - the activity that occurs when a ringing cell phone causes everyone in the room to check and see if it's theirs.

crapplet - a poorly written or totally useless Java applet.

cinderellaware - software (demo or shareware) which becomes useless after a trial period unless the user pays for and registers it.

cube farm - an office filled with cubicles.

dopeler effect - the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

dot gone - last year's e-commerce hopeful.

e-dundancy - e-mailing a person at the same time as you're having an IM conversation with them about the same thing

execuglide - to maneuver oneself around the room while seated in a wheeled office chair.

faxcess - having access to a fax machine.

faxcination - staring intently at the fax machine because you're waiting for a fax to come through.

fonesia - the affliction that strikes when you dial a phone number and forget whom you were calling just as they answer.

fUtility - a 3rd party utility that won't install no matter how closely one follows the instructions.

gadaboutag - the orphan HTML tag that's messing up your page.

IMdecision - repeatedly erasing an IM text box because you change your mind about what you want to say.

multiasking - communicating with someone through multiple channels at the same time

macrimination - the automatic assumption that whatever is wrong is caused by the Mac on the network.

negabytes per second (NBps) - a measure of data transfer that seems so slow it can only be assumed to be flowing backwards.

ohnosecond - that very short moment in time during which you realize that you have pressed the wrong key and deleted hours, days, or weeks of work.

oxoxomoron - a person who includes symbolic "hugs and kisses" at the end of their e-mail.

Percussive maintenance - the fine art of whacking the crap of of an electronic device to get it to work again.

phenomenot - the Latest, Greatest, wizz-bang whatever that's not what it's proclaimed to be.

phenomenut - the guy who runs right out and buys phenomenots.

prairiedogged - the feeling of helplessness that overtakes you when co-workers in neighboring cubicles constantly pop their heads up to ask you stupid questions.

questfallen - reaction to the realization that your MapQuest directions have failed you.

random excess memory - memory you were talked into buying in order to solve some problem that never did get resolved.

screen spasm - pages that try to load simultaneously on your computer screen as a direct result of your "animousity."

screenager - an intern in the IT department.

spamouflage - an intentional typo, such as Vikagra, used by spammers to fool spam filters.

unstant messaging - minimizing your IM window when your boss walks by.

WAPathy - lack of interest in wireless technology.

zen mail - an e-mail message that arrives without text in the message body.