Christmas Thoughts

[WD8BIL]

With the passing of my Dad on Christmas night I've been in a reflective mood. One tends to take stock in the really important, and really trivial, things of life during such times.

I'm very blessed as I had precious time with dad the last week to have those discussions father and son should but rarely do. I'm at peace and he is, as the apostle Paul informs, present with the Lord.

This has been a year of sorrows in the AM community and as we age I feel it will continue. But the friendships I have been blessed with here will long endure.

Thank you all. I wish I knew how to express such a grateful heart.

[WA3VJB]

Bud --

It feels like I've only got a few pages until I reach the end of the same book.

It's tough to see our folks grow old.  

And when they're gone, I realize my time will come a lot sooner than I think.

Making the most of what's left ...

[KB5MD]

So sorry Bud for your loss, but oh the gains your Dad made with his passing.

I remember my Dad coming over on his 80th birthday.  I remarked to him how 80 years was a long time and his reply was, "It is until you get there."
I understand what he meant now that I am just 12 short years from being there myself, God willing!

[Steve - K4HX]

So sorry to hear of you father's passing Bud.

[W2PFY]

Sorry to hear about your dad Bud, lost mine in 1962 when I was 20 years old, never really got to know him like I would have liked too.

[Jeff W9GY]

Bud, Sorry to hear about your Dad.  Lost mine in '06.  You are in my thoughts.  73 Jeff W9GY

[W4EWH]

With the passing of my Dad on Christmas night I've been in a reflective mood. One tends to take stock in the really important, and really trivial, things of life during such times.

You'll see him around in the months and years to come: in a reflection of a shop window, or just turning after getting out of a car, or sometimes there will be a face in a crowd that takes your breath away. It's OK: we all go through it. To this day, when I'm confronted with a plumbing problem, my first thought is to call me dad and ask him what to do.

The important things are those he taught you. Fathers always know how to skip the trivia.

I'm very blessed as I had precious time with dad the last week to have those discussions father and son should but rarely do. I'm at peace and he is, as the apostle Paul informs, present with the Lord.

I wish I could tell my dad that I understand him, now that I'm old too; that I do appreciate what he went through and how many hard-as-nails choices he had to make.  That, of course, is part of the human condition. I don't know if I'll see him again, but I'm sure I'm a better man for having had his advice.

Your dad's mortal remains may be absent, but he is not: you will see him now in the reflections of your childrens' eyes.

73,

Bill W1AC

[W3RSW]

Buddly,

If your like your dad, he must have been a very neat person.
You know, in my way of thinking far above what statisticians think of a 20 year generation, a person never really dies until the last person that knew him or her dies.  My father's dad was born in 1860.  I knew him in his 80's and until 90 when he died in 1950. Long spaced generations with few great grandchildren being known into adulthood by the elders.

As Bill so well wrote,

Your dad's mortal remains may be absent, but he is not: you will see him now in the reflections of your childrens' eyes.

All my siblings, especially my brother, catch ourselves often in "Johnisms," acting or speaking exactly like our father.  My brother is tall, skinny, blond and the spitting image of our other grandfather, mother's, but the genes didn't carry over to his actions.  In my case, I'd walked into establishments with my mother when she was still living after my father died and got really strange looks from my parents casual friends...   "Uh, isn't he deceased..."  You could almost hear their thoughts.  

Unless you have an older brother or such, you may now be the Patriarch.  ...a very responsible position.  .... as he would have wanted you to be.   You are now your dad and will be viewed with the same reverence some day.  

[WA3VJB]

There are some beautiful, moving thoughts and perspectives taken on this, Buddly, I feel lucky to be able to see what you've generated.

A good friend of mine spent most of her adult life taking care of an elderly Mom and Dad. Never married, she lived with them at their home while also successfully pursuing a career.

Her father was the first to leave, in his 90s, and even as she watched them both start to show the signs of declining health, she knew that her presence in their lives meant so much, even when she no longer could "do" anything.

She told me it was the least she could do for bringing her into the world and helping her achieve what she continues to accomplish to this day.

What I responded with was such a small reflection of the love and devotion she has -- it's a 40 year old song that I remembered, that suddenly took on great meaning for me these most recent years, helping me get closer and try to cover the passage of time.

It might have value for you too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i43aAn2rq8

[W1AEX]

Buddly,

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your Dad. As you said, everything gets put in perspective by something like this. I was also fortunate to have time with my Dad when he passed and will never forget my last words with him. I think about him each day and smile as I complete tasks using what he taught me as I grew up. I believe our parents are always with us in many little ways as our lives go on.

Take care,

Rob W1AEX

[W1RKW]

Buddly,
Know what you're going through.  It's my first Xmas without my OM.  It was not the same. 

[W3GMS]

Buddly,

So sorry to hear of your Dad's passing.

I lost my Dad on May 1, 2007.  He made it to 84 years old and enjoyed every bit of his life.  He was a WWII Vet, owned his own business in his early years, then worked for Prudential Insurance Company until he was 55 and retired.  He liked painting and Wallpapering so much, he started a business doing that and kept very busy until he finally retired some years later.  Like me, Dad did everything around the house maintenance wise.  In fact when he got out of WW II he bought an old office building and tore it down to build phase one of our house that I grew up in.  As kids came along, on would go another expansion.  He had a sign out front naming the house "Bit by Bit" since that's how he built it.  The style of the home is like something you would find in the colonel district of Williamsburg, VA.  Growing up he taught me to save first and then buy.  If there was not enough cash in the envelop then you waited until there was.  Those lessons allowed me to retire at age 56 one year later than he did.  So many fine thoughts to carry me forward from our talks and the lessons he taught me.  He had the where with all to spoiled me, but he did not think it was the right way to go.  I will never forget when I was almost 16 and asked him if I could get my license and drive.  He said sure, as long as you buy your own car, pay for the insurance and put the gas into it!  Since I always had jobs after school and on weekends that is what I did.   He took 20% of my earnings when I was 11 years old and through starting college.  The day I started Penn State he handed me this big fat envelop returning all my money back to me!  I knew he did not need the money but was just teaching me about responsibility and it worked.    

Your memories will carry you forward with your fine thoughts about your Dad in your head and just be glad you have those memories.  Some folks unfortunately do not.

Joe, W3GMS        

[Ed/KB1HYS]

I'm sorry to hear this Buddly. It is good you could have time together at the end.

I lost my father two years back now.  I regret that his last few years were not time that we could share, as the Alzheimer took his mind and his memories. 

I find that when I am working on something using his tools I feel he is with me.

Peace.

[Opcom]

I am so sorry to hear of your fathers passing away. A beloved parent and the bond there is so tight. God bless you and have mercy.

I am glad you had the chance to be with him so recently.

On another note, the collecting and saving of the old family stories before they are lost is important. I have many from my grandparents.

[W9GT]

Buddly, 

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.  At least, you were fortunate to have your Dad for so many years.  My Dad passed away when I was in my early 20's and I miss him a lot.  Wish he could have known his grandkids. 

If your Dad was anything like you, he was a really nice person!! His legacy lives on through you.

Sincere condolences,  Jack, W9GT

[Todd, KA1KAQ]

I'll add my condolences to the others, Bud. It's never easy to lose a loved one. Even if they live a long, healthy, happy life and you enjoy much of it with them, there is still the eventual realization and living with the fact that they are gone from this earth. Death is a normal part of life of course, but I've never dealt with it well myself. Too final, and I can't figure out an answer or a way around it (probably because there isn't one).

Thank the good lord that you were close to your dad and spent time with him, especially in the final days. A lot of folks forget about family members, always taking for granted that they'll be there and figuring they'll spend more time later, when it's more convenient.

I've got something here I've been meaning to send you for months, but I need to scan it. It's a 'dad' thing, and I think it'll bring a smile to your face.

God Bless you and your family through this time. He's definitely in a better place now, but he left good folk like yourself behind to carry on.

[WD8BIL]

Thanks guys.

We buried dad today. The celebration of his life amoungst us was really neat. So many memories and stories were told. (some Mom never knew!)

Again, thanks for all the prayers, wishes and memories. I wish you all the best of 2013.