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KA1ZGC
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« on: December 15, 2008, 02:07:00 AM » |
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Yes, our very own beloved K1JJ, a.k.a. Tom Vu, turns 107 years old today!
Tom was born on this day in 1901 on the 75 meter amateur band, and immediately started speaking Reverse Farsi. He also began moonwalking at the age of 5 hours.
Within the first six months of life, Tom lost all speech and motor abilities, and had to learn to walk, talk, and chew gum just like the rest of us did.
From there, Tom's meteoric rise was the stuff of legend. By age three, he graduated Suma Cum Laude from the Lil' Bo Peep Home For Wayward Dog Lovers, and by age fourteen was well on his way to his 15th doctorate, seven of which were in Forensic Alchemy.
After years of grueling labor, pausing only to invent Dirt and The Wheel, Tom took several years off in his mid-twenties to find himself. In an interview with GQ magazine some years later, he referred to this as the "last place you look" period of his life.
After a brief stint in the papacy, Tom eventually settled down in Connecticut to raise an impressive family of towers and dogs. There were many attempts to legally challenge his paternity; but DNA testing, which he invented, proved that they were all indeed the fruit of his overactive loins. He later used this same technology to find Nicole Simpson's real killer, who was recently incarcerated in Las Vegas, Nevada on unrelated charges.
Indefatigible as ever, Tom later went on to solve the Chicken-and-Egg scenario, the Rubik's Dodecahedron, the Mystery of Al Capone's Vaults, and the all-important question of Just What The F*** Were You Thinking, Anyway.
Accounts of later years conflict, but common among them are the General and Special Theories of Relatives, Quantum Refrigeration, and appearently a few cooking shows on local-access cable.
Tom currently resides at his home in Connecticut with his dog Yaz, his towers, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, and Pope Gregory IX.
When reached for comment, his only response was a muffled "Oh my God, this is so f***ing good" through a mouthful of chocolate cake emblazoned with gold sheet and Milk Bones.
So, if you hear him on the air, be sure to wish him a Happy 107th Birthday; the world just wouldn't be the same without him!
--Thom
Killer Agony One Zipper Got Caught
p.s. Happy Birthday, you old buzzard!
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