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Death, addiction, and an apology.




 
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Author Topic: Death, addiction, and an apology.  (Read 1281 times)
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K8DI
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« on: July 09, 2021, 01:14:04 PM »

Hello, fellow AMers.

I joined here a couple years ago, due to rediscovering AM and homebrewing.  I've been a ham since 1994, but with only a little HF activity, mostly VHF on the local repeater and simplex while traveling in a group with friends who were also hams.

I've tried to be helpful here, while learning from those more knowledgeable. Some people seemed all right, a few rubbed me the wrong way, just like any group.

A while ago, one ham spoke out. He was waving goodbye; struck by terminal cancer. This hit me exactly on the head, straight on, in ways I did not expect.  I talked to him via email and phone, figuring to help his estate by buying a couple radios. Instead, I had to distance myself completely, from him, from here.   You see, both my parents died from cancer, as has every family member older than I, with the exception of those killed in war.  Add to that, I am a recovered alcoholic. When I spoke to him, he was drinking heavily to numb himself, to deal with dying. I can't blame him; I may do the same when my time comes. However, it triggered everything. If I stayed, I'd be drunk. I've been sober for over seven years. I just shut down -- no radio building, no AMfone, no air-time. It's taken a couple months to regain confidence. That ham is now SK. May he rest in peace. I remain sober. May I stay that way. I am coming back to the AMfone forum, hoping that the same welcome I felt upon first arriving will be in place. I apologize to those who wondered where I went, and to Opcom for falling down on running tube of the week.

I've done a little building in the last couple weeks, fixed a power supply, got a new 7' rack to put lots of iron and tubes in.  I'm about to go buy a 1kW broadcast transmitter. If the local noise floor isn't S9, I'll try the airwaves out. Until then,

Best wishes to all.

Ed
K8DI
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Ed, K8DI, warming the air with RF, and working on lighting the shack with thoriated tungsten and mercury vapor...
WA2SQQ
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« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2021, 02:10:01 PM »

Ed
I was once told that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. Youíve done a superb job with that. 7 years is certainly something to be proud of. 1 task at a time, 1 day at a time. You are traveling the right path, so continue, and enjoy the road ahead sharing your experiences with your friends here and on AM!
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W1NB
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« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2021, 10:01:11 PM »

Ed,

Iím relatively new to the forum and know only a handful of those who frequent so I can only speak for myself. First, congratulations on seven years. That is very commendable. Even more commendable is your handling of what must have been, and possibly still is, a very tough situation at multiple levels. At the end of the day we have to be our own advocate and protector and each of us has to respond to our own adversities in the most personally effective way possible. Strictly speaking for myself, you have done nothing for which you should apologize.
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Patrick J. / KD5OEI
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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2021, 01:58:05 AM »

Hi Ed,
You did right. Sometimes one must walk away from an unexpectedly complicated situation to keep oneself in proper alignment, so to speak. No need to apologize to me about the tube of the week. I accept your offer gentleman to gentleman, but I have to immediately say I took no offense at all. Not one bit. I was grateful that you volunteered because I knew I did not have the time to do it.

I hope you will continue to participate here and I will be OK if you want to do the tube of the week again now, or later, or not. I have no rank, the admin officially approves or confirms such thing.

So whenever you want to post in any topic please feel welcome to do it, at least on my part. Be sure to let us know about the gear in the racks, and the transmitter when you have time. I like racks, they are the best.

PJ
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Radio Candelstein - Flagship Station of the NRK Radio Network.
Detroit47
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« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2021, 09:35:24 AM »

Ed

I am a friend of Bill W and Dr. Bob. I have been in the fellowship since 3/17/1980. The only person you owe anything to is yourself and you family. Sometimes even family members have to go. You take care of yourself first. I have sponsored many people thru the years.

Peace Johnathan N8QPC
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"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."  Benjamin Franklin
KD6VXI
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Making AM GREAT Again!


« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2021, 03:46:11 PM »

and Dr. Bob.

Bonner?

And Ed, good on you for taking care of you.  Since you are in control of your destiny, it's best you remain in control.

--Shane
KD6VXI
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Detroit47
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« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2021, 03:58:54 PM »

Bill W and Dr. Bob Smith the founders of AA
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"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."  Benjamin Franklin
Steve - K4HX
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« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2021, 07:50:42 PM »

Ed, spoken like a man. You are welcome here. Each of us has things we need to deal with. Some are obvious, some are not. I hope you continue to find Amfone and the Amateur Radio hobby enjoyable. Take care.
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