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The Eve of the Onslaught




 
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Author Topic: The Eve of the Onslaught  (Read 677 times)
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w8khk
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This ham got his ticket the old fashioned way.


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« on: July 03, 2021, 01:06:18 PM »

Once upon a time, many fortnights hither to, an eerie symptom of tinnitus drove the Vikings into uncontrolled chaos. They rose up in anguish, determined to squelch the cause of their malady. Triangulating on the apparent source, they ventured across the expanse of the Kattegat, arriving in a massive standing wave at the shore near Apelviken. The Vars and the Falkens attempts to resist the wave were largely dissipated, as the Translovs and Apels were infinitely weak in their counter-charge, thus the first Viking wave was not deflected back into the Kattegat, but instead flowed through the unimpeded termination of the Kattetgat near Var. Resistance was utterly futile!

The townspeople put out a call to Tronnige, but it went unanswered, as The Tron was apparently Quietly Resting Tranquilly (QRT). Nary a belch or snore was heard. As the powerful wave of Vikings continued onshore uninhibited by the Trans, subsequently the wavefronts converged near Klastorp, and their ears were ringing so violently, they were sure to identify the source of their malady.

Meanwhile, Swede native Alex and his sons came up from their tons of grime, ready to take a break from the whirring and spinning of their toy tops in the cellar. They had attempted to make a gyro-tron, but could not succeed in getting it to stand on end. After getting it to spin over seventeen thousand Repetitive Perturbations each Minutiae in a horizontal plane, they were perplexed that it seemed impossible to rotate the behemoth device perpendicular, all attempts were precessed.

Unscathed by their failure to make a spinning top, they were compelled to continue ad infinitum, as they were unable to communicate vocally due to the constant squeal, hum, and vibration from the sure arm and bearings. They even wound massive amounts of copper strings round the mechanism in an attempt to spring the device vertically, but all attempts were Quickly Reduced to Perturbance (QRP). They were not able to achieve any alternate orientation, try as they might!  Meanwhile, the spinning copper released copious quantities of free Oxygen, which emanated from the tons of grime in their toy cellar, fueling the first wave of Vikings in their onslaught.  Caution: One must NEVER experiment with "copper free oxygen" without properly qualified medical assistance!

As they arrived to find Alex and his sons in the toy cellar, they yelled in anger, thus interrupting the son's efforts. The sons cried out in unison "Kungsbacka, Asa,,,, Kungsbacka, Asa" which is native slang for "who are you, and why are you trespassing" Unfortunately, the Vikings were so deafened by the spinning toys in the cellar that they did not hear the sons cry out.

Suffice it to say that the end results were not pretty. Gory details will be suppressed due to the nature of the crime and the expected audience. As the spinning tops wound down, all that was heard was the Vikings muttering "DIT DIT DIT DAH DIT DAH DIT DIT DIT DAH DIT DAH" (SK, SK)  Alex and his sons were ruthlessly and forevermore. squelched. Silence was Key. A sense of hearing was returned to all the vikings, who thusly retreated back through Klastorp to the shores at Gettereron, and across the wide expanse of the Kattegat, and they were never again encountered henceforth.

But every year since the massacre of Alex and his sons, Long Delayed Echoes are detected from the tons of grime in the toy cellar.  DIT DIT DIT
  DIT  DAH   DAH DAH DIT DAH..... (SAQ)  Scientists for years have been struggling, unsuccessfully, to determine how it is possible that a distinctly different message emanates from the tons of grime each year. The most recent efforts to explain this conundrum were recorded in a document circa 1921, accidentally unearthed by an unsuspecting tourist somewhere near Greenwich, in a country far to the west. Tis a puzzlement indeed!
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Rick / W8KHK  ex WB2HKX, WB4GNR
"Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.   Ronald Reagan
Tom WA3KLR
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« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2021, 01:59:17 PM »

Rick,

I think you threw something other than mesquite on your barbecue.

Anyhow, have a happy July 4th holiday everyone.
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73 de Tom WA3KLR  AMI # 77   Amplitude Modulation - a force Now and for the Future!
w8khk
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This ham got his ticket the old fashioned way.


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« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2021, 02:10:07 PM »

You are absolutely correct, Tom. Barbecues here in HotLanta are Spectacular!  The lasting effect is certainly something to write home about! 

Meanwhile, at the Tons of Grime site in northern Europe, a memorial was dedicated in honor of toy top inventor Alex and his sons who were all lost in the massacre.  

Outside the memorial, a tall tower was erected in honor of Alex, and additional towers were placed each year to the memory of his many sons.


* Sanctuary.JPG (150.32 KB, 1592x796 - viewed 122 times.)

* Monuments.JPG (81.71 KB, 1003x786 - viewed 116 times.)
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Rick / W8KHK  ex WB2HKX, WB4GNR
"Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.   Ronald Reagan
N5RLR
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Supremely Lurking


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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2021, 03:07:11 AM »

I'll have what he's, ah, smoking. Grin

Forsooth!  Fivesooth, even! Cheesy
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Michael

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