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You might be a Redneck Ham

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Author Topic: You might be a Redneck Ham  (Read 4307 times)
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Steve - WB3HUZ
« on: January 28, 2005, 08:23:14 PM »

You might be a Redneck Ham if:

you think: quarter wave is a midget female in the navy, a half wave is bigger, standing wave is a group of them in formation.

feed line is what you get in to eat.

resistor is what you do to a ugly girl.

coax is what you do with a pretty girl.

rubber duck is a decoy.

linear has something to with your family tree, despite it's lack of branches.

radiator is part of your pickup.

propogation is the rate of reproduction.

ionosphere means "the basketball is mine".

tube is the TV.

transistor is a nun who had a sex change.

zepp is a breakfast cereal.

whip is what your kid can do to the honor student.

harmonic is what Charlie McCoy plays music with.

image is something you look at, if you shave.

parasites is two locations.

DX is just a brand name for gasoline.

QRP is a kidney disease.

impedance is a jig you do while looking for a restroom.

ohms is Watson's detective partner.

current is some kind of berry.

a handheld could lead to romance.

a loudspeaker is a cheerleader.

ampere is a ear deformity.

volt is what you do on a Tuesday in November.

watt is often asked by someone hard of hearing.

chip is something you avoid stepping in, out in the pasture.

beam is an illumination for frog gigging.

quad is a form of carburation.

slow scan is what you do when a girl walks by.

contact is what you yell when jump starting your pickup.

digital means displaying one finger.

a condenser is something that puts milk in cans.

an inductor works for Amtrak.

a coil is used to make moonshine.

polarization is the difference between races.

meter is being introduced to a woman.

160 is the average speed for a NASCAR race.

mobile is another brand of gasoline.

switch is swapping mates.

knife is pulling out a bigger blade in a fight.

push to talk is forcing yourself to be heard in a beer joint.

pair of strippers is two naked girls.

keyer is a locksmith.

connector is a dating service.

rotor is part of a pickup axle.

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Posts: 604

« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2005, 04:53:38 PM »

Boy, you've been out in the woods too long....maybe you should visit town once in a while and talk to some real folks instead of the wind.

A closed mouth gathers no foot
Steve - WB3HUZ
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2005, 06:55:36 PM »


My days in the woods have paid off. Just finished talking to W2APE_Dave and N4RQ-Terry on 1885 kHz. Was strapping at both locations with only 15 watts.

That said, I have about had it with wire, ropes, tree and such for a while!
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Posts: 3489

« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2005, 07:26:59 PM »

Forget talking with "real town folk." They ain't nuthin' but trouble. Gimmie some woods and a back 40.
Steve - WB3HUZ
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2005, 07:31:32 PM »

City Slickers. Who needs 'em?

You were sounding good on 160 OM. As I said, every bit as loud as you were on 75 meters. Looking forward to more good chats on the topband.
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