If Christmass isn't yor bag, and Festivus doesn't send you, then maybee its time for Pastafarians.
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Pastafarians claim that pirates are ideal beings, whose name was ruined by the Catholic church in the 1800's. They believed that pirates in fact gave out candy to small children. Also, as a repercussion, their demise over the last few centuries has caused global warming. Though this is not be the absolute truth, it is a possibility not often looked at given that this theory best fit the data collected so far. Pirates existed before, and still exist today in the form of drug smugglers on speedboats. if you eat enough spaghetti you will be enlightened by the flying spaghetti monster and you will reach full potential.
Subsects A few extremist Pastafarians (a specific group called Porfons and Tifrons) believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not one being, but three, and that the Pasta, the Meatballs, and the Holy Sauce, as they are called, are separate beings.
Other sects believed that Macaroni, and not Spaghetti, is the true form of the god of Pastafarianism. They refer to their creator as the Flying Macaroni Monster and they believe that the vision of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is corrupted by interference. Raviolis and Spaghetti-o's are not included.
The various sects often argue over the singularity vs. trinity of their god as well as its true form.
The best thing about pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced. "
To learn more,
http://wikiality.wikia.com/PastafarianKLC