The AM Forum

I'm a romantic soul. I love the radio art as much if not more than my chosen music profession.
The nostalgia of Elmer's, their stations, antenna farms and they all... we all, go away and SK.
My post isn't so much about the negative side of the passing, but what we celebrate as milestones
of our lives.
For example, I was very interested in the late Joe Hertzberg (K3JH/N3EA) and his monumental 75/80 meter
quad that no doubt fascinated everyone here who has ever read the pages of QST. Some of you even knew him and some of his contemporaries. I find solace in this because some of you pass on the stories and keep the remembrance alive.
And then I see the pictures, and read other stories of those who have graced the airwaves with their signals, conversations and lore that still linger even after their passing. Here and there. They still live on.
This helps a lot, because as of the last couple of years, I have lost a lot of radio family. I miss them dearly.
The vacancy is noticed far and wide yet I feel they are still with us because we still speak of them often. We laugh at their jokes they re-told over and over, the transmitter they smoked more than once or the beer they spilled into the receiver on field day. They live on because we are family even though we may not ever have met in person but were still close in some way. Even someone you never knew, or QSO'd with, you read a post or article by them and you feel connected, even as a neighbor. Ham Radio has this effect. It's strong and deep and runs forever.
We have a kinship through a mutual interest that brings us all together, in good times and bad. The thread is common and stays alive. So, we never forget. We carry on this fine art of humanity that will bind us as friends and in some ways, family for as long we live. That's pretty cool isn't it?
I think so. Long live Amateur Radio and all of us.
Billy N6YW

Billy, that is a great missive on a lost one.

I feel the same way sometimes, even for those I've never met.

It is most poignant when the SK is someone you have known for years.

A recent event of this type is still affecting me.

Thanks for the grounding.... :)

73DG

Most, if not all of us, can relate. It was a particularly brutal year for us here on 'fone, losing many. Aged from early 30s to mid-80s and between. I don't think it's going to get any better as no one's getting out of here alive.

Leaving a legacy through friends, experiences, and actual on-air activities is something to strive for from our hobby perspective. Once upon a time the equipment and deals at hamfests meant the most. These days more of us enjoy gathering at a favorite 'fest or other event just to catch up with old friends, eat, drink, and otherwise socialize. The occasional deal is still fun, but for me and others I know, time spent with friends is what we look forward to. The days of putting things off and waiting until the next time are gone. No different than when we were younger, we just realize it more now: they might not be a next time.

These feelings come from unusual places as well. After rescuing the Tucker transmitter from a scrap pile, I started researching and found his son also a ham with his old call W5VU, and met up with him and got loaned some photos and a 120 page design binder for the unit, all which were copied/scanned, and finding out about the articles and books he wrote. (RTTY from A to Z for one) Hard to think of knowing someone that well and never having met them, and then being affected thinking about the loss to the amateur radio community.

This has been a really bad year for Hams, Amers in particular and friends here on 'fone. We have lost a lot of good friends and they are sorely missed allready.
Sometimes I get some what down in the dumps about it / them. They may be gone, but their memories will live on.

I miss them all and refuse to let go of the memories. they WILL live on in my heart and mind for as long as I do!

To all that we have lost: God bless, and Godspeed! ! ! !  Goodbye simply doesnt cut it or say enough to express the feelings.

As far as chasing someone down, It can often be quite amazing how small of a world this place really is!

" I miss them all and refuse to let go of the memories. "

I stoped by my old mans house Monday. He was telling me stories and laughing about his friends. - He was talking about people he knew in the US Army and that they were all dead. And he wants a beer on his 96th birthday this month....

I guess your not really dead untill your forgotten.

klc

When he gets that beer, make sure to wish him a HB from all of us, too! :D

73DG

Especially when memories of you still put smiles on people's faces.

Definately buy him a beer for me! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

DITTO!!!

I received a couple of letters outside of AM Fone, of which I am grateful.
This further solidifies my belief in how we are connected by this incredible hobby.
One person told of how they found a schematic meticulously hand drawn on a sheet
of paper and tucked away inside the piece of equipment, like a long forgotten document
that tells a story unto itself. That alone re-ignites a simple legacy left behind by
someone we will never know. It's fascinating to say the least and goes much deeper
than the equipment left behind.
I suppose my being such a sentimental guy has it's drawbacks but I cannot let go of this.
We are in many ways, keepers of the keys so to speak. We carry on the light they once held
by those that passed before them, thus we go as those before us.
I appreciate the comments posted here and makes me appreciate our kinship even more.
We are all different from each other but in this regard we are very much the same.
Funny how that works.
73 de Billy N6YW

I can relate to some of this too. Back in 2007, when I was in the Boy Scouts, we were at camp for a week, which was mostly for earning merit badges and stuff like that. Well, this particular year, they had a guy there doing the radio merit badge. Of course, there were a limited number of spots so I made sure I got into the class. Turns out I was the only licensed ham in the group, so the instructor and I got to know each other because i would go up to where he was set up when I had some free time and get on 20 meters. A few years later, I was reading the SK list in the back of QST. I recognized the one call, so looked back through my old logbook and found a note of being at camp and his callsign in there.

I've also saw my then 88 year old great grandfather go from perfect health to passing away about 7 months later. In the fall of 2008, he started having health problems. The doctor told him that he had to basically stay in the house all the time. He had been a farmer all of his life. I can honestly say that he died of a broken heart more then anything else, because I was told that a few months before he died he walked down to the shed on one of the days he was feeling well and started one of his tractors up just to hear it run. The week he died, we baled hay in the field behind his house, and my great grandmother said he stood at the kitchen window the whole time, watching his son go around the field on the tractor with the baler. If I recall, she even told me he said he wished he was out there with us.

Then today, I arrive at school to find out that one of the girls in my class was killed in a car accident late last night. It really hit our class hard, first because most everybody was close to her, which it's hard not to be when there's only 38 people in it, and because we are only a few months away from graduation.

Shelby

It does get depressing to see family members move on as my Mom and Dad passed on within a year of each other. And to actually be there in the final hours of my Mom gasping for air, as she was going through the "Death Rattle". This was the woman who brought me into this world and it still hurts to hear her breathing quietly slowing as I read some Bible verses, and then stopped. There was a twitch or two her time was gone.
And N3DERB, Tim, one of our guys. Much younger than me passing on after a battle with brain cancer. I remember the happy days in Baltimore at the radio store he worked, repairing and refurbishing old radios. Those early 1990's were my beginning days of the AM mode and getting to know the East Coast gangstas and the HUZMAN........Steve
And there have been other sad announcements of fellow Ham ops moving on also.
We'll pick up the pieces and move on.
Fred

Phred,
         Most of us are now getting to the are where we now know as many (if not more) dead people as live ones. It quite often hurts, and hurts real bad, but we gotta geep on going as log as we can.

Timmy's battle, hurt me real bad. He called me while I was in the hospital fighting for my own life. Wirh about an hour long phone call he had told me that he just couldn't fight any more and had just given up. He seemed very comfortable with his own upcoming demise. I, however didn't handle it as well.
I fell apart while we were on the phone and continued to cry for hours after that. When he thanked me for always being his friend and sticking with him no matter what, I totally went to pieces, and didn't really care if I survived my ordeal or not.

As we are getting older, our circle of friends is getting smaller (not by our choice). It is just a by-product of getting older. They may be gone physically, but as long as their memories live on in our hearts and minds they will live on for as long as we do!!